There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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