Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
