remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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