what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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