I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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