Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
