it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
