am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
