Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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