i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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