She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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