i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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