By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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