i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
