Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
