Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
