So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You took a bar mat shot.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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