I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
