I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
