sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
