Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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