i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
