somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
