Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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