Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
