It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
