This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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