My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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