There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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