sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
