my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
