who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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