There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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