Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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