So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
