At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
