It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
