my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
