No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
