DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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