Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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