we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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