I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
