Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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