i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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