i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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