I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
