we're blogging at a bar
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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