A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
