white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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