You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
