Im at strip club and am horny
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
