It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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