we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
