gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
