This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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